STRESS REPELLENT

I could have had a really crappy day yesterday. It slowly started snowballing when, after writing for two and a half hours, my article got erased. I just put my hands over my face and said, "ugh." Well, it sounded more like, "UAUGHAIUGHEEE!!" (That is a natural, organic cuss word, to be used when anger is clowded by disappointment, in it's most raw form.) I shut the computer with a bang and wished to all things holy, that I had a little time machine. Reasoning quickly disappears, when stress is thrust upon me.
I walked outside and paced around in a wide, crooked circle and muttered to myself, "I should have just pushed the stupid copy and paste button! Stupid computers. NO! I'm not going to worry. It always works out. But, It was SO PERFECT! I can't get it back. Yes, I can! It will be better next time because I've had 2 1/2 hrs of practice. Oh, what a waste of time! It's like running over my dog....well, his back leg at least. Maybe both back legs."
You may think that I am schizophrenic, but this was me, fighting off the bad day. It's positivity with a negative sweater/vest on. I know what the alternative is. Crying, laying on the bed in the fetal position, screaming, lighting things on fire, etc. When a small tragedy like this happens to another person, we all say the same thing, "Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks. Well, don't worry about it. It'll be okay." We say this because the tragedy is not ours. It has not personally attacked us.
We all have days that go like this. Usually, it's not just one incident. It's a series of small catastrophes. And, like attracts like, so if you want to break the chain, it takes some major mental, emotional, and physical exercise to do it.
I chose going to the laundry mat, which is like a combative sport here in North Dakota, where there are a dozen washers and a million rough necks. I loaded up the trash, the library books, the smelly laundry, and my journal and pen. I would go old school and start completely over on my perfect article. I am so full of words that I could do it again. It just needed a new set of back legs.
On the way to Watford City, there was a tremendous amount of traffic and road construction. I was going about 30 mph. I flipped through the XM channels. Alice In Chains...nope. Slow, sad music by some throaty dude that whisper-sings....nope. Lost 80's hit...buddy, there's a reason they lost that hit...nope. BLACK CROWS, Twice As Hard....oh yeah! I rolled down the window and embraced the muggy-ness of ND. I turned the stereo up to break-the-sound-barrier level and sang at the top of my lungs! I was butt-dancing in my seat and feeling generally giddy now. The cloud above my head was lifting!
My heart leaped with lovey feelings for my husband. He was at home with little girls that were waking up. He was putting on the Tom & Jerry movie. He was making breakfast burritos. He knew what I needed, probably more than I did!

By the time I reached the laundry mat and jockeyed for position by the triple loader, I was feeling like my happy little self again. The ladies were laughing, folding clothes,and trading wash tips. I was in the arms of love. I glanced across the line of whirring washers and recognized the lady at the quarter machine. Marathon-Mama-My-New-Hero-Glowing-Lady from the playground, with the 14 kids! Oh, this was going to be a GREAT day.

"Hey! How are you?!" I hollered a greeting and we started chatting about how to wash "greasers" with Dawn soap. We went out and sat on the bench. Me with my journal and pen, trying to reclaim my long lost treasure, and she with her purse full of quarters and her 14 year old daughter by her side, book in hand. She was obviously enjoying a break from the mayhem of the mobile home full of little boys and her little darlin' pixie baby.

Far from my mind, now, was the ugly pit that had formed in my stomach after "the article catastrophe." I no longer felt like I was emotionally drowning. It could have gone so differently.
Sometimes we just need to let go and sing. I can not control the Universe in its entirety, but I sure can embrace the day, whatever it may bring, and not give up. I didn't give up.
This is, essentially, a disclaimer for the reason nobody saw a new Honest Mother article yesterday, in case they were looking. I was involved in a battle to stay sane. I was fighting like a warrior, and I won. My new improved article that can never be erased, which is the beauty of pen and paper, is lovingly tucked in my purse awaiting publication and clarification. It looks a bit like secret code and a map to Neverland. Meaning, that there are arrows, lines, circles and words, all bunched into paragraphs and written with love. I don't really want to look at it today. Instead I will make nachos extraordinaire, and play with my kids in the grass. I will read the 2 yr old's favorite book for the hundredth time. I will turn on the stereo and clean my refrigerator. I will make my bed and watch a Netflix movie.
Life is certainly good!